THE ORIGINAL STORY OF THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER

>The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
>house and laying up supplies for the winter.
>
>The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the

>summer away.
>
>Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper
>has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
>
>
>
>THE MODERN NEW ZEALAND VERSION
>
>The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
>house and laying up supplies for the winter.
>
>The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the

>summer away.
>
>Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
>
>The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know
>why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less

>fortunate like him are cold and starving.
>
>TV1 and TV3 show up to provide live coverage of the shivering
>grasshopper, with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm
>home with a table filled with food.
>
>Kiwis are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor
>grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.
>
>LABOUR supporters, the Greens and the NZ MAORI PARTY demonstrate in
>front of the ant's house.
>
>TV1 , interrupting an Maori cultural festival special from Waikato with

>breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall Overcome."
>
>Helen Clark and Ruth Dykeson rant in an interview with Paul Holmes that

>the ant has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an

>immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."
>
>In
>response to polls, the Labour Government drafts the Economic Equity and

>Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retrospective to the beginning of
>the summer.
>
>It is quickly passed through Parliament.
>
>The ant's taxes are reassessed and he is also fined for failing to hire

>grass hoppers as helpers.
>
>Without enough money to pay both the fine and his newly imposed
>retrospective taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
>
>The ant moves to Australia, and starts a successful agribiz company.
>
>The TV stations later show the now fat grasshopper finishing up the
>last of the ant's food though Spring is still months away, while the
>government owned house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old

>house crumbles around him because he hadn't maintained it.
>
>Inadequate government funding is blamed, retired Prime Minister Dame
>Helen Clark (also known as Sir Helen) now is appointed to head a
>commission of inquiry that will cost $10,000,000.
>
>The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders,
>praised by the government for enriching New Zealand's multicultural
>diversity, who promptly terrorize the community.
>
>The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the New Zealand Herald

>blames it on obvious failure of government to address the root causes
>of despair arising from social inequity.
>
>The Spiders await Legal Aide cheque to assist them to bring their
>20,000 brothers and sisters to New Zealand, and to sue Social Welfare
>and Family Support sighting the $2,000 weekly benefit as being
>inadequate.